It was on of those days,…..actually it was the whole week where it seemed I could do nothing right at the office and everything that could go wrong did !. Even the weather seemed to be against me, it got all overcast but no rain fell so you were left with just the grey and dreariness. Then just like the girl I am i got all emotional; and was awash with all those feelings of being not good enough, I felt like a failure and an idiot. Why is this happening now ?, how did i not see this coming ? what should/could i have done differently ?, questions floated around in my head but I had no answers. I had worked so hard for so long, but I was being overlooked, it seemed my work was not recognised (well the mistakes were noted of course), and I had no-one on my side. I vented to my girlfriend but I still felt miserable……..my burden was heavy, I felt like Shrek.
A few weeks before I had read of a Sheep called Shrek, who had wandered away from his master got lost and was holed up in a cave for months before he was found. When his owner found him his fleece was hugely overgrown. When a professional Shearer had sheared him the fleece weighed 60lbs. As i understand it the average weight of fleece when Sheep are sheared regularly is somewhere around lbs. So poor Shrek was carrying around more weight than he needed to because he was away from his owner.
The thought occurred to me then that during the hosting of my own pity party I had wondered away from my owner/father and was carrying unnecessary burden. I prayed; I was still angry & perplexed at first but I persisted in prayer. I prayed for God to show me what I should do differently and prayed that I would not become resentful.
It’s a new week time for a fresh start of course all my challenges of the previous week have not yet been solved but my heart is light because I know that God sees me and he knows my name.