STANDING IN MY BLESSING

A little over 5 years ago, I started to feel restless in my job. I was good at what I did and for a long time I had enjoyed doing it,………until I didn’t.  My heart was no longer contented and I was confused. I had been in this profession for almost two decades it was all I knew, was I even good at anything else?, what other skills did I have?, I was approaching 40, was it wise to even change careers now? I had a family to think about, this was madness.  A myriad of questions swirled around in my head. I shared how I was feeling with one of my girlfriend who was also thinking of making a change and she suggested we do the following:

1. Make a list of our transferrable skill sets
2. Make a list of what we enjoyed doing
3. Make a list of what we wanted to accomplish/feel/achieve in this next chapter and…
4. Most importantly to pray about it

Among the things I listed were, I wanted to make lotsof money,  for me this meant I wouldn’t have to worry about sending my kids to college, I could have my mom come visit the kids without her ponying up the airfare and my husband and I could retire comfortably and not be a worry to our children. I wanted more quality time with my family, I wanted to take a vacation when I chose to, (I was tired of being told when I could get some days of), I really wanted to share my knowledge and empower others and if possible prevent them from making some financial mistakes I made when I was younger.

I decided to take a leap of faith and leave the comfort of my job where I knew exactly how much I would be paid each month.  My vocation which gave me so much security, which enabled me to take holidays every year, the industry where I had worked so hard to get to where I was at that point.  After much prayer, and consultation, In 2015, I walked away from the job which had defined me for so long.

It’s funny how you can be standing right in the middle of your blessing and not realize it, because you expected it to come in a certain order and with a specific timeline. My life has never worked this way so I am unsure why I expected it to be neat and orderly this time.

In my new profession, over the past 5 years I have gained an amazing wealth of knowledge, not only from my organization which spares no expense when it comes to training, but also from my clients who span a wide range of occupation and interest. I have been able to reach so many individuals and impart all the knowledge and experience I have gained, my heart squeals with joy each time a client realizes a goal. I have played hooky with my three favorite guys and driven out of town in the middle of the week and for the first time in years take a Christmas vacation back to back ….absolute joy!!. 

Yet a couple of weeks ago I was throwing myself a tiny pity party mainly because It has been five years and I am not rich yet, And I am still on a budget ….yes this sucks….majorly!.

For days I couldn’t get pass this, then I finally heard God whisper to me ‘In my time and not yours my child’. I won’t lie I am not totally over not accomplishing this part of my goal as yet,  however I am choosing to be grateful for answered prayers , for unexpected opportunities and blessings I didn’t pray for but received. I read an article recently from a Christian author I follow which says ‘I have to be careful not to be so focused on the answer that I miss out on what he desires to teach me while I am waiting’

But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.

Romans 8:25

Be still in the presence of the Lord, wait patiently for him to act

Psalm 37:7

I hope you choose joy, while we wait.

Before the fog lifts

It’s so easy to lose focus of what is important to us, goals we want to achieve, the dreams that were places in our hearts when we have hit a turbulent season in life. The dust in the valley makes it hard to see or feel anything other than the situation we are in at the moment….. However, it is then we need a reminder that this is just what it is ‘a season’. Sometimes it is so hard to see beyond the fog of, heartache, doubt, disappointment and pain we are experiencing. It is even harder for those on the outside looking in to sometimes understand our actions or decisions without having a clear picture of the situation and the season within which it is being made.

In you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame….Psalms 25:3

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

My hope is that whenever we find ourselves in this season that there will be someone there to remind us that as sure as the sun comes out after the rain and day follows night, this too shall pass. Take heart dust yourself off, press forward and remain confident and keep reaching for the good in store for you.

The Jump

There is nothing like a spontaneous family road trip Yayyy!. The rush of quickly packing and the anticipation of what lies ahead.  A couple weeks ago our family had one of these adventures a friend recommended we visit a hidden gem out of town.  So off we went amidst getting off track a few times, and a couple navigating ‘misunderstandings’ we finally arrived at our destination. Initially, the beauty was really hidden and I wondered if we would have any fun,…this doubt was short lived as our guide expertly steered us along the path to a beautiful lush location filled with nothing but the sounds of nature.

Near to the end of our hike we ended up at a breathtaking waterfall, I was giddy with excitement until I saw the very high diving platform (I swear it was about 10ft high) leading to the river below which was approximately 35 ft. deep our guide informed us (what the heck!) he animatedly explained that we needed to swim across to the other side in order to dive off (again….my heart).  My oldest son Mr. daredevil was ready to go no encouragement needed there, however my youngest who just learned to swim over the past year was apprehensive and said he wanted to stay with me on land, to which of course I happily agreed, however after realizing his dad would also be diving he changed his mind and decided to go. His father told him he would take his jump before he did and wait for him in the water below, and that’s exactly how they did it…. daredevil first, daddy next , and the brave one last. When he came out he said “mommy I had my eyes open and it was sooo scary” to which I replied “and you did it anyway and that was very brave”. I was so proud of my warriors. Of course I stayed on land, I mean somebody had to capture the moment right?

I was taught a lesson that day though. My brave one even though he felt scared decided to go for it because he knew his dad would be waiting for him and that made him feel safe to try.  I hope that he, myself (us) always take the leap of faith with our eyes wide open and jump, even when it seems scary and we are unsure of our own capabilities. I hope we jump knowing our heavenly father will always be there to keep us safe,…. and so we really have no need to fear.

…I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; 

Psalms 23:4

⁷ For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7